May Garden Humor

Does it seem like it's been a super long wait for the new outdoor gardening season to arrive? I'm not complaining per se. Time, which normally passes very quickly as you age seems to have stalled in April. Maybe it was the weather being so up and down. I'm not complaining, I'll take rain any day and any month.

During some of the down time this winter I not only cleaned my entire office, I filed, then filed more papers and articles (not on the computer, I'm old school). I came across a file that had several jokes.

 
I have to share this timely one. It's a David Letterman Top Ten List. Apologies if any of the references are too old for anyone born in the last twenty, better make that thirty years.

Signs you Hired the Wrong Kid to Mow Your Lawn

10.  He shows up with a pair of manicure scissors and a Ziploc.

9.    Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks.

8.    His nickname: the Unamower.

7.    On the side of his mower, stenciled silhouettes of 13 cats. 

6.    Stops every 15 minutes to smoke some clippings.

5.    Using your riding mower, leads L.A.P.D. on a three-hour low-speed chase.

4.    He's always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his

       head.  

3.    He somehow mows the hood ornament off your Lexus.

2.    Every week he tries to match your lawn to Dennis Rodman's hair.

1.    No toes.  

 

Welcome to the 2021 outdoor gardening season. May is usually a bumpy ride weather wise. No worries, we're glad we're here.