Last of the Leaves 2021

Ferris is a leaf magnet

We live in central Denver with deciduous trees growing on every front yard hell strip and then some. Love the shade, love the green canopy, I even love the leaves for mulching new plantings and tucking in and over the vegetable beds.

What I don't like is the constant mess of leaves that blow and go right where I raked the hour before. Usually these leaves are from the neighbor's trees who haven't raked yet (or ever). 

It's getting near the end of the leaves falling for the season and in celebration, here's a Top Ten Classic David Letterman.

Top 10 Signs You've Hired the Wrong Kid to Rake Your Leaves

10.  He charges you by the leaf.

9.    Keeps asking where he should plug in his rake.

8.    Picks up leaves one at a time, dips them in nacho cheese, eats them.

7.    Says, "This'll just take a minute," starts soaking your lawn with gasoline.  

6.    Your neighbor calls and asks, "Who's that naked guy chasing my dog with a rake?" 

5.    Half an hour after he starts, you notice he's sitting on your back porch.

4.    You recognize his work gloves from the O.J. Simpson trial.

3.    Comes to your back door and says "I've had a long talk with the leaves, and they've decided to stay." 

2.    Constantly reminding you that he used to be famous for those "Home Alone" movies.

1.    His motto:  Rake a leaf, do a shot.