Double Delightful Thanks

Garden Vase Gift from a Friend

In the next several days you might find yourself sending out thank you cards, emails or texts for holiday gifts or acts of kindness received this month. *Extending gratitude in the form of a hand written note seems to becoming a lost tradition. Since I'm not a parent and only an observer of parenting styles, I can't speak to how much children and young adults today are encouraged to send thank you notes for gifts, a treat to a special event or trip, or any behavior that falls into the category of "gee, that was nice of you to do for me."  

While growing up, my parents strongly encouraged sending a hand written card or letter of thanks. I recall sitting at the small built in table desk in my downstairs bedroom scribbling out short thank you sentences to my aunts and uncles for socks, mittens or board games. It's hard to recall, but I hope I sent thank you cards to my Grand Uncle Bob for the yearly December cash gift he gave to me and my siblings. The crisp twenty dollar bill was always in one of those thick money envelopes that banks use - leaving a very positive lasting impression on a twelve-year old.

Over the years we've received many cards or notes from nieces and nephews, most are now in their late twenties or older and gift giving has waned from our end. Sometimes a thank you text is sent from our close by teenage relatives after Christmas or a birthday, but we don't expect them anymore and here's why.

Years ago I had a conversation with my Mother who was in her early 80s at the time about receiving thank you cards for given gifts. It bothered me that I quit receiving them. She simply said that if I expected to receive a note of thanks than I shouldn't have given the gift in the first place. That was it, one sentence, very direct, no emotion. Wow, that was a shock to my system because I remember quite clearly being nudged by her or my Dad to send thank you cards.

Here's why I think she may have been right. The whole point in giving a gift is to give something away to someone. "Here, please take this, I'd like you to have it, no strings, no need to return and no need to pay me back in any way ... here, it's yours ... enjoy!"  Sure - thought, money, time and sometimes great sacrifices are made to make the gift or the event possible. But ... "if thanks are expected or required, then is it really that joyful in the first place to give the gift? Aren't we giving for the wrong reasons then?"

My opinions and ramblings are just that. If you're a regular thanker in writing and never misses an opportunity to let others know how much their gifts or acts are appreciated, please, carry on the tradition. In full transparency I still send notes, but I'm trying so hard not to expect others to do the same in return. They probably knew my Mom. 
 
That was one long narrative on giving thanks. Now to the title topic of Double Delightful Thanks.

I'd like to give special thanks to a special niece (all eighteen of my nieces and nephews are special), but this present really touched me. I received quite unexpectedly a gift from my niece who now lives in North Carolina. She transferred there a few years ago from Montana to continue working for Special Olympics. She sent me a commemorative American made plate of the rose 'Double Delight.' The plate was made (along with 9799 other plates) in 1977 as an All-American Rose Selection, a distinguished award, judged based on positive growth traits such as scent, blooms, disease susceptibility, etc. The AARS program was replaced a few years ago with the American Garden Rose Selections.

What makes the gift so exceptional is 'Double Delight' was one of my Mom and Aunt Martha's favorite rose. They both grew it in their gardens, even my Mom's zone 3/4 garden in eastern Montana. It's gorgeous and has the high centered bloom form plus the all in strong, spicy/sweet rose fragrance that we want from roses. 'Double Delight' needs a bit of extra winter protection and possibly some organic potassium bicarbonate to ward off mildew. It's a long time favorite and anyone who grows it, loves it. Thank you so much Allie for your gift!



*The exception in almost all cases would be in the corporate and non-profit world where acknowledgement of a gift is rather mandatory, at least it was and is today for me with my small business.